Desi baba's Desi Mailz

[Desi Masala] File - Auto Change Of Email Settings

2009-08-01T00:37:00.001-07:00

There is a built-in problem with the yahoogroups which causes your email preferences to change from individual mails to digest to no mails etc. in random order. This is caused by the auto generated emails by net worms and viruses and the moderator has nothing to do with it and has no control over it.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure for it either. the only way for you to fix this is to manually change the settings back to your desired settings via email or from the yahoogroups.com webpage.

Alternatively, you can write to yahoogroups support at support@yahoogroups.com and request them to fix this issue. It can be fixed by changing yahoogroups programming to a 2-email system which would require subscribers to confirm the mail delivery change by a return email. This is just like subscribing to any yahoogroup or unsubscribing from a yahoogroup which is usually done by a 2 email process!

A sample letter which can be written to yahoogroups support team is listed below for your reference. All you have to do is copy and paste it in your mail client and send it to support@yahoogroups.com

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SAMPLE EMAIL TO YAHOOGROUPS SUPPORT TEAM
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Dear Yahoogroups Support Team,

Our email delivery keeps on changing from individual mails to digest to no mails etc. in random order. This is caused by the auto generated emails by net worms and viruses and we have no control over it.

As there is no known cure for it, the only way for us to fix this is to manually change the settings back to our desired settings . This is very tedious and it also causes us to lose out of the good messages from our favorite groups.

You can fix it by changing your programming to a 2-email system which requires subscribers to confirm the mail delivery change by a return email. This is just like subscribing to any yahoogroup or unsubscribing from a yahoogroup which is usually done by a 2 email process!

Hope yahoogroups will implement this change soon so everyone can benefit and we fight against the net worms and viruses jointly!

Thank you.

(Your Name Here)

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[Desi Masala] God & Marwari...!! !

2009-07-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

A Marwari having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God.......
God happy with his prays, grants him only ONE wish!

Marwari : I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child's hands in our new home!

God : Damn !!! I still have a lot to learn from these Marwari's !

Lessons learnt from the above story:-

Compile all requirements and present in one line rather boring appraiser for long time.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Desi Masala] Fun : Marraige under Income Tax Act

2009-07-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

MARRIAGE UNDER INCOME TAX ACT

If you like a girl, propose her for marriage and follow the following procedure:

1) send a notice u/s 142(1)(ii) to the girl for submiiting her consent over your proposal

2) send a show cause notice u/s 144 to her father to give reason for not marrying her

3) pass the assesment order & raise demand u/s 156

4) if ur father in law does not deposite within due time, he shall be the assesse in default u/s 220

5) if within 6 years from the date of your marriage you come to know that your father in law has one more daughter then you can open the case u/s 147 for Daughter escaping marriage

Disclaimer: Person following these section in his life shall be solely responsible & the auther shall not be held guilty for anything mishappening

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[Desi Masala] shayris

2009-07-30T09:27:00.000-07:00

hello friendssss......again R@hul here ...thnx 2 all friend for reply message.
new shayri for my friends group.

1. Ghar sajaane ka tasawwur to bahut baad ka hai;
Pahale ye tay ho ki is ghar ko bachaayen kaise!

2.Shoharat ki talaash men kabhi chain se soya nahi;
Jab mili shoharat to fir neend kabhi aayi nahi!

3.Sabako unka sach dikhata hai aaena;
Khud apani syaah pith chhupata hai aaena!
Ham toot kar bikhar gaye to bola na ek baar;
Jab khud gira to shor machata hai aaena!

4.
Dil jo dooba aash-ke-gam aankh me machal gaye,
Ek chirag kya bujha saun chirag jal gaye,
Meri unki raah bas itni der ek thi,
Do kadam chale hi the ki raste badal gaye "

5.
…..Apne Haatho Se Yun Chehre Ko Chupate Q Ho,
Mujh Se Sharmate Ho To Saamne Atay Q Ho...

Tum Kabhi Mere Tarha Kar Bhi Lo Ikraar-e-Wafa,
Pyar Karte Ho To Phir Pyar Chupate Q Ho...

Ashq Aankho Mein Mere Dekh K Rote Q Ho,
Dil Bhar Aata Hai To Phir Dil Ko Dukhate Q Ho...

In Se Vaabasta Hai Jab Mera Muqadar Phir ....!!!
Mere Shano Se Ye Zulf Hatatay Q Ho......!!

Roz Mar Mar K Mujhe Jeenay Ko Kehte Q Ho,
Milne Aatay Ho To Phir Laut K Jatay Q Ho...

Apne Haatho Se Yun Chehre Ko Chupate Q Ho,
Mujh Se Sharmate Ho To Saamne Atay Q Ho...

waiting ur reply..

Looking for local information? Find it on Yahoo! Local http://in.local.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] Rahul a New Wine for Seniors

2009-07-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

New Wine for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce
Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new
hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.

It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to
make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

PINO MORE

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.

Always strive to add rungs to your ladder of life.

A ship in the harbor is safe. But that's not what ships are built for.

Do not be afraid to ask dumb questions. They are easier to handle than dumb mistakes.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Desi Masala] A Real Story...

2009-07-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

A conversation between a soldier and software engineer in Shatabdi Train.

Mr. Vivek Pradhan was not a happy man. He was the project manager and still
not entitled to air travel. It was not the prestige he sought, he had tried
to reason with the admin person, it was the savings in time. He opened his
case and took out the laptop, determined to put the time to some good use.

'Are you from the software industry sir,' the man beside him was staring
appreciatively at the laptop.
Vivek glanced briefly and mumbled in affirmation, handling the laptop now
with exaggerated care and importance as if it were an expensive car.
'You people have brought so much advancement to the country, Sir. Today
everything is getting computerized.'
'Thanks,' smiled Vivek, turning around to give the man a look. He always
found it difficult to resist appreciation.
'You people always amaze me,' the man continued, 'You sit in an office and
write something on a computer and it does so many big things outside.'
Vivek smiled deprecatingly. Naiveness demanded reasoning not anger. 'It is
not as simple as that, my friend. It is not just a question of writing a few lines. There is a lot of process that goes behind it.' 'It is complex, very complex.'
'It has to be. No wonder you people are so highly paid,' came the reply.
This was not turning out as Vivek had thought. A hint of belligerence crept
into his so far affable, persuasive tone. ' Everyone just sees the money. No one sees the amount of hard work we have to put in.

'Let me give you an example. Take this train. The entire railway reservation system is computerized. You can book a train ticket between any two stations from any of the hundreds of computerized booking centers across the country.
Thousands of transactions accessing a single database, at a time
concurrently; data integrity, locking, data security. Do you understand the
complexity in designing and coding such a system?'
The man was awestuck; quite like a child at a planetarium. 'You design and
code such things'.
'I used to,' Vivek paused for effect, 'but now I am the project manager.'
'Oh!' sighed the man, as if the storm had passed over, 'so your life is easy now.'
This was like the last straw for Vivek. He retorted, 'Oh come on, does life
ever get easy as you go up the ladder. Responsibility only brings more work..
Design and coding! That is the easier part. Now I do not do it, but I am
responsible for it and believe me, that is far more stressful. My job is to
get the work done in time and with the highest quality. To tell you about
the pressures, there is the customer at one end, always changing his
requirements, the user at the other, wanting something else, and your boss,
always expecting you to have finished it yesterday.' 'My friend,' he
concluded triumphantly, 'you don't know what it is to be in the Line of
Fire'.
The man sat back in his chair, his eyes closed as if in realization. When he spoke after sometime, it was with a calm certainty that surprised Vivek.

'I know sir. I know what it is to be in the Line of Fire'. He was staring
blankly, as if no passenger, no train existed, just a vast expanse of time.
'There were 30 of us when we were ordered to capture Point 4875 in the cover of the night. The enemy was firing from the top. There was no knowing where the next bullet was going to come from and for whom.In the morning when we finally hoisted the Tricolour at the top only 4 of us were alive.'
'You are a...?'
'I am Subhedar Sushant from the 13 J&K Rifles on duty at Peak 4875 in
kargil. They tell me I have completed my term and can opt for a soft
assignment. But, tell me sir, can one give up duty just because it makes
life easier. On the dawn of that capture, one of my colleagues lay injured
in the snow, open to enemy fire while we were hiding behind a bunker. It was my job to go and fetch that soldier to safety. But my captain sahib refused me permission and went ahead himself. He said that the first pledge he had taken as a Gentleman Cadet was to put the "Safety and Welfare of the Nation foremost followed by the Safety and Welfare of the Men" he commanded and his own personal safety came last, always and every time.' 'He was killed as he shielded and brought that injured soldier into the bunker. Every morning thereafter, as we stood guard, I could see him taking all those bullets, which were actually meant for me. I know sir. I know, what it is to be in the Line of Fire.'

Vivek looked at him in disbelief not sure of how to respond. Abruptly, he
switched off the laptop. It seemed trivial, even insulting to edit a Word
document in the presence of a man for whom valour and duty was a daily part
of life; valour and sense of duty which he had so far attributed only to
epical heroes. The train slowed down as it pulled into the station, and
Subhedar Sushant picked up his bags to alight.

'It was nice meeting you sir.'

Vivek fumbled with the handshake. This hand had climbed mountains, pressed
the trigger, and hoisted the tricolour. Suddenly, as if by impulse, he stood up at attention and his right hand went up in an impromptu salute. It was the least he felt he could do for the country.

PS: The incident he narrated during the capture of Peak 4875 is a true-life
incident during the Kargil war. Capt. Batra sacrificed his life while trying to save one of the men he commanded, as victory was within sight. For this and various other acts of bravery, he was awarded Param Vir Chakra, the nation's highest military award, and after that as is known about this nation, all such sacrifices of our soldiers are conveniently forgotten and that's the saddest part.

Please live humbly, there are great people around us, let us learn, winners
are .....
• too busy to be sad,
• too positive to be doubtful,
• too optimistic to be fearful
• and too determined to be defeated
• Self-trust is the first secret of success.

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[Desi Masala] 'Urine or You're Out'

2009-07-29T23:23:00.000-07:00

(Whoever wrote this one deserves a HUGE pat on the back!)

Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay
my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order
to get that paycheck in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test
(with which I have no problem). What I do have a problem with is the
distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my Question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a
welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?Please
understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.
I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on
their ass - doing drugs, while I work.

Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass
a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could title
that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.

Pass this along if you agree or simply delete if you don't. Hope you all
will pass it along, though. Some thing has to change in this country --
and soon!!!!!!!

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[Desi Masala] bankruptcy cOncept

2009-07-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

bankruptcy cOncept

Once there was a little island country. The land of this country was the tiny island itself. The total money in circulation was 2 dollars as there were only two pieces of 1 dollar coins circulating around.

1) There were 3 citizens living on this island country. A owned the land. B and C each owned 1 dollar.

2) B decided to purchase the land from A for 1 dollar. So, now A and C own 1 dollar each while B owned a piece of land that is worth 1 dollar.

* The net asset of the country now = 3 dollars.

3) Now C thought that since there is only one piece of land in the country, and land is non producible asset, its value must definitely go up. So, he borrowed 1 dollar from A, and together with his own 1 dollar, he bought the land from B for 2 dollars.

*A has a loan to C of 1 dollar, so his net asset is 1 dollar.
* B sold his land and got 2 dollars, so his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C owned the piece of land worth 2 dollars but with his 1 dollar debt to A, his net residual asset is 1 dollar.
* Thus, the net asset of the country = 4 dollars.

4) A saw that the land he once owned has risen in value. He regretted having sold it. Luckily, he has a 1 dollar loan to C. He then borrowed 2 dollars from B and acquired the land back from C for 3 dollars. The payment is by 2 dollars cash (which he borrowed) and cancellation of the 1 dollar loan to C. As a result, A now owned a piece of land that is worth 3 dollars. But since he owed B 2 dollars, his net asset is 1 dollar.

* B loaned 2 dollars to A. So his net asset is 2 dollars.
* C now has the 2 coins. His net asset is also 2 dollars.
* The net asset of the country = 5 dollars. A bubble is building up.

(5) B saw that the value of land kept rising. He also wanted to own the land. So he bought the land from A for 4 dollars. The payment is by borrowing 2 dollars from C, and cancellation of his 2 dollars loan to A.

* As a result, A has got his debt cleared and he got the 2 coins. His net asset is 2 dollars.
* B owned a piece of land that is worth 4 dollars, but since he has a debt of 2 dollars with C, his net Asset is 2 dollars.
* C loaned 2 dollars to B, so his net asset is 2 dollars.

* The net asset of the country = 6 dollars; even though, the country has only one piece of land and 2 Dollars in circulation.

(6) Everybody has made money and everybody felt happy and prosperous.

(7) One day an evil wind blew, and an evil thought came to C's mind. "Hey, what if the land price stop going up, how could B repay my loan. There is only 2 dollars in circulation, and, I think after all the land that B owns is worth at most only 1 dollar, and no more."

(8) A also thought the same way.

(9) Nobody wanted to buy land anymore.

* So, in the end, A owns the 2 dollar coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B owed C 2 dollars and the land he owned which he thought worth 4 dollars is now 1 dollar. So his net asset is only 1 dollar.
* C has a loan of 2 dollars to B. But it is a bad debt. Although his net asset is still 2 dollars, his Heart is palpitating.
* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars again.

(10) So, who has stolen the 3 dollars from the country ? Of course, before the bubble burst B thought his land was worth 4 dollars. Actually, right before the collapse, the net asset of the country was 6 dollars on paper. B's net asset is still 2 dollars, his heart is palpitating.

(11) B had no choice but to declare bankruptcy. C as to relinquish his 2 dollars bad debt to B, but in return he acquired the land which is worth 1 dollar now.

* A owns the 2 coins, his net asset is 2 dollars.
* B is bankrupt, his net asset is 0 dollar. (He lost everything)
* C got no choice but end up with a land worth only 1 dollar

* The net asset of the country = 3 dollars.

************ **End of the story; BUT ************ ********* ******

There is however a redistribution of wealth.
A is the winner, B is the loser, C is lucky that he is spared.

A few points worth noting -

(1) When a bubble is building up, the debt of individuals to one another in a country is also building up.
(2) This story of the island is a closed system whereby there is no other country and hence no foreign debt. The worth of the asset can only be calculated using the island's own currency. Hence, there is no net loss.
(3) An over-damped system is assumed when the bubble burst, meaning the land's value did not go down to below 1 dollar.
(4) When the bubble burst, the fellow with cash is the winner. The fellows having the land or extending loan to others are the losers. The asset could shrink or in worst case, they go bankrupt.
(5) If there is another citizen D either holding a dollar or another piece of land but refrains from taking part in the game, he will neither win nor lose. But he will see the value of his money or land goes up and down like a see saw.
(6) When the bubble was in the growing phase, everybody made money.
(7) If you are smart and know that you are living in a growing bubble, it is worthwhile to borrow money (like A ) and take part in the game. But you must know when you should change everything back to cash.
(8) As in the case of land, the above phenomenon applies to stocks as well.
(9) The actual worth of land or stocks depend largely on psychology

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.

Who I am really keeps surprising me.

The man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

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[Desi Masala] The vet bill

2009-07-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

A man rushes his limp dog to the veterinarian. The doctor pronounces the dog dead. The agitated man demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat. The cat sniffs the body and meows. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body and barks. The vet says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."

The man finally resigns to the diagnosis and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 is for the cat scan and lab tests."

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[Desi Masala] Hungry Snake

2009-07-28T03:48:00.000-07:00

Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon
realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he
happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a
worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him
of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no
lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer
down his throat and went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg.
Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms
in his mouth...

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] latin "jai ho"

2009-07-28T00:05:00.000-07:00

latin "jai ho"

_http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HaImMwP134_
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HaImMwP134)

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[Desi Masala] Parents

2009-07-27T21:01:00.000-07:00

This was narrated by an IAF pilot to IIT students during a Seminar on Human Relations:

Venkatesh Balasubramaniam (who works for IIT) describes how his gesture of booking an air ticket
for his father, his maiden flight, brought forth a rush of emotions and
made him (Venkatesh) realize that how much we all take for granted when
it comes to our parents.

My parents left for our native place on Thursday
and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had
never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make
him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by
train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways.
The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see
that I had booked them by air.. The excitement was very apparent on his
face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was
preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right
from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking
for a window seat
and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was
thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching
him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up
to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional
and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this
meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no
need to thank me. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I
looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have
made come true.

Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket
bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability,
they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the
sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we
ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today
when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them
in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure
that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc.
But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our
sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their
dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young.
It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and
their life is complete.

Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have
actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me
something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they
would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a
second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same
attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders.
Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry
for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much
he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best
possible attention to all their wishes.

Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give
up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They
have wishes, too..

Take care of your parents. THEY ARE PRECIOUS.

Love Cricket? Check out live scores, photos, video highlights and more. Click here http://cricket.yahoo.com

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[Desi Masala] Kanjibhai's Tailor Marcus Pinkus

2009-07-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai , two very religious Gujarati men, visited Marcus Pinkus the tailor to have new black suits made.

When they went to pick up the suits, Kanjibhai looked at his suit very carefully; held it up to the light, walked over to the window and examined it more carefully and then proclaimed, "Marcus, this suit is navy blue. It's not black!"

"Trust me." said Marcus, "It's black!"

"Ramjibhai, what do you think? Blue, or black?" asked Kanjibhai.

"To tell you the truth," said Ramjibhai, "I couldn't really tell from this light if it's blue or black"

They left wearing their new suits and while walking down the street kept examining each other's suit to see if it was blue or black. Then they spotted two nuns standing on the corner and decided to go stand next to them. They knew their habits would be black and this way they could be sure.

Well, later that afternoon, the two nuns returned to the convent and visited with mother superior to discuss their day in the city. "A very strange thing occurred." reported one of the nuns. "Two Gujarati men approached us on the street and they were speaking Latin !"

"Latin?" exclaimed mother superior. "Gujarati men don't speak Latin; they speak Gujarati !"

"No." said the other nun. "It was definitely Latin!"

"Well, what did they say exactly," asked the mother superior.

"I'm not really sure," said one of the nuns. "They just kept repeating the same Latin phrase, "Marcus Pinkus
Fuctus!"

Best Wishes from

Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi, KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

Everyone has a photographic memory, but some of us don't have film.

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.

Money may not buy happiness but it goes a long way toward getting rid of misery.

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[Desi Masala] Kanjibhai says

2009-07-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad."

Kind Regards from
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

Education is what you get from reading the small print,
Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Things turn out best for those that make the best of the way things turn out.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Progress has little to do with speed, but much to do with direction.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

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[Desi Masala] Reality

2009-07-27T06:45:00.000-07:00

7 August 2009 ko 12:34Min 56 Sec ko time or date kuch is tarah hoga? Date7/8/2009?Yaani 123456789 puri ginti ek sath ek sansar me dobara fir kabhi nahi hoga

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[Desi Masala] A great saying 4 all friends....!

2009-07-27T04:31:00.000-07:00

1. Making a million friends is not a miracle,
the miracle is to make a friend,
who will stand by you when millions are against you.

2. Value Those Friends Who Find Time For You In Their Calendar,
But Cherish Those Friends Who Don't Consult Their Calendar
When You Need Them…

Love the heart that hurts you but never hurts the heart that loves you......!

Animated Letters

Looking for local information? Find it on Yahoo! Local http://in.local.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] Kanjibhai's 20 Ways to Waste Your Money

2009-07-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

20 Ways to Waste Your Money

Whether a newbie or seasoned budgeter, nearly everyone has spending holes -- leaks in your budget that drain money with you hardly noticing.

These small drips can add up to big bucks. Once you find the holes and plug them, you'll keep more money in your pocket. That spare cash could be the ticket to finally being able to save, invest, or break your cycle of living paycheck to paycheck.

Here are 20 common ways people waste money. See if any of these sound familiar, and then look for ways to plug your own leaks.

How to waste your money

1. Buy new instead of used. Talk about a spending leak -- or, rather, a gush. Cars lose most of their value in the first few years, meaning thousands of dollars down the drain. However, recent used models -- those that are less than five years old -- can be a real value because you get a car that's still in fine working order for a fraction of the new-car price. And you'll pay less in collision insurance and taxes, too.

Cars aren't the only things worth buying used. Consider the savings on pre-owned books, toys, exercise equipment and furniture. (Of course, there are some things you're better off buying new, including mattresses, laptops, linens, shoes and safety equipment, such as car seats and bike helmets.)

2. Carry a credit-card balance. If you have a $1,000 balance on a card charging 18%, you blow $180 every year on interest. That's money you could certainly put to better use elsewhere. Get in the habit of paying off your balance in full each month.

3. Buy on impulse. When you buy before you think, you don't give yourself time to shop around for the best price. Resist the urge to make an impulse purchase by giving yourself a cool-off period. Go home and sleep on the decision. If you still want to make the purchase a day or so later, do your comparison shopping, check your budget and go for it. Oftentimes, though, I bet you'll decide you don't need the item after all.

4. Pay to use an ATM. A buck or two here and there may not seem like a big deal. But if you're frequenting ATMs outside your bank's network, the surcharges can add up quickly. Put that money back in your pocket by using ATMs in a surcharge-free network such as Allpoint or Money Pass.

5. Dine out frequently. A habit of spending $10, $20, $30 per person for dinner can be a huge drain on your wallet. Throw in a $6 sandwich for lunch and a $4 latte in the morning, and you've got quite a leak. Learn to cook, pack your lunch and brew your coffee at home and you could save a couple hundred bucks each month.

6. Let your money wallow. If you are stashing your savings in your checking account or a traditional bank account, you are wasting money. You could put it in a high-interest online savings account and get paid to save. You can even get an interest-bearing checking account through such reputable companies as Everbank, Charles Schwab, E*Trade and ING Direct.

7. Pay an upfront fee for a mutual fund. Selecting no-load funds can save you more than 5% in sales charges. Of course, no matter how well a fund has done in the past, you can't be sure how it will perform in the future. But if you pay a load, you'll begin the performance derby in the hole to the tune of the load. See the Kiplinger 25 for our favorite no-load funds.

8. Pay too much in taxes on investments. Are you investing in a tax-sheltered 401(k) or Roth IRA? If you're not maxing out those accounts before you invest in a taxable account, you're spending too much.

9. Buy brand-name instead of generic. From groceries to clothing to prescription drugs, you could save money by choosing the off-brand over the fancy label. And in many cases, you won't sacrifice much in quality. Clever advertising and fancy packaging don't make brand-name products better than lesser-known brands (see Similar Products, Different Prices).

10. Waste electricity. Of the total energy used to run home electronics, 40% is consumed when the appliances are turned off. Appliances with a clock or that operate by remote are typical culprits. The obvious way to pull the plug on your energy vampires is to do just that -- pull the plug. Or buy a device to do it for you, such as a Smart Power Strip ($31 to $44 at www.smarthomeusa.com, which will stop drawing electricity when the gadgets are turned off and pay for itself within a few months.

11. Pay banking fees. Overdraw your checking account and you'll pay $20 to $30 a pop, so it pays to keep tabs on your balance. Plus, are you still paying for a checking account? Free deals abound -- but make sure they're really free. For instance, will the bank charge a fee if your balance drops below a certain level or if you download your info into a personal-finance software program? That's not free.

12. Buy things you don't use. This sounds like a no-brainer to avoid, but how many times have you seen something on sale and thought you couldn't pass it up? Even if something is 50% off, you're spending too much if you don't use it. href=Couponing, for instance, can be a great way to save on your grocery bills. But if you buy things you wouldn't have purchased in the first place simply for the sake of using the coupon, you're wasting your money. The same goes for buying in bulk. A bargain is no bargain if it sits unused on your shelf or gets thrown away.

13. Own an extra car. Okay, so a car is a necessity for most people. But face it -- cars are a huge drain, from their loan payments to insurance fees to gas and maintenance costs. Own more than one car and you'll double or triple those expenses. Ask yourself if that second or third car is really necessary. Are you holding on to an old car for sentimental reasons? Can you or your spouse carpool, take public transportation or bike to work?

14. Ignore your local dollar store. Shopping at the dollar store can be hit-and-miss, but it's not all kitsch or junk. If you know what to buy, you can find some real bargains. For instance, my local dollar store charges 50 cents for greeting cards versus the $3-plus at a drug store or gift shop. (I have a big extended family so I figure this saves me more than $100 per year.) You can also score a deal on cleaning supplies, small kitchen tools, shampoos and soaps, holiday decorations, gift wrap and balloon bouquets.

15. Keep unhealthy habits. Smoking is not only bad for your health, it burns up your cash. A pack-a-day habit at $6 a pack costs $180 a month and $2,190 a year. A junk-food or tanning-bed habit can be costly as well. Not to mention the money you'll waste on medical bills down the road.

16. Be complacent about insurance. Your bill arrives and you pay it without a second thought. When was the last time you shopped around to determine whether you're getting the best deal? Rates vary widely from insurer to insurer and year to year. Reshopping your auto, home or renters insurance might save you hundreds of dollars.

It also pays to evaluate your insurance needs. For instance, upping your out-of-pocket deductible from $250 to $1,000 can save you 15% or more on your car insurance. Consider using the same insurer for your home and auto insurance -- you could snag up to 15% off for a multiple-line policy. And make sure you're not paying for insurance you don't need. For instance, you need life insurance only if someone is financially dependent upon you (such as a child).

17. Give Uncle Sam an interest-free loan. If you get a tax refund each April, you let the government take too much money in taxes from your paycheck all year long. Get that money back in your pocket -- and put it to work for you -- by adjusting your tax withholding. With a little discipline, you can use that extra cash each month to get started saving or pay down debt (or make ends meet to avoid going into debt in the first place). You can file a new Form W-4 with your employer at any time.

18. Pay for something you can get for free. Dust off your library card and check out books, music and movies for free (or dirt-cheap). Don't pay to receive your credit report when you're allowed to get it at no charge by law. Take advantage of kids-eat-free promotions. And dial 1-800-FREE-411 for free directory assistance.

19. Don't use a flexible-spending account. Your employer may allow you to set aside pretax dollars to pay for medical costs not covered by insurance. You can use the money for expenses such as therapy, contact lenses, insurance co-payments and over-the-counter drugs. You may be able to do the same for child-care costs.

20. Pay for unnecessary services. How many cable channels can a person watch? Do you really need all those extra features for your cell phone? Are you getting your money's worth out of that gym membership? Are you taking full advantage of your subscriptions (such as Netflix, TiVo or magazines)? Take a look at what you're paying for and what your family is actually using. Trim accordingly.

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.

To my credit, Hiten Raja has been working hard, 24 / 7 - 24 hours a week, 7 months a year.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right.

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[Desi Masala] Buffalo & the Horse - a folk tale

2009-07-26T03:51:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time a horse and a buffalo lived in a beautiful meadow up in the mountains.

There was plenty of grass to eat and water to drink, and the two had become good friends. But one year, there was no rain. The meadow stream dried up and the grass turned brown.

Soon the horse and buffalo found themselves fighting over the scarce water and grass. One day, their daily fight became violent. The buffalo jabbed the horse with her sharp horns. The badly injured horse had no option but to flee.

A few days passed and the horse started feeling much better. He still had not forgotten how the buffalo had hurt him, and started planning his revenge. After much thought, he decided to approach a man and ask for his help. On hearing the horse's tale, the man shrugged and said, "Well, you fought with each other, and you lost. Why should I get into this? Anyway, the buffalo has sharp horns. If she can hurt you, she will definitely kill me." With that the man told the horse to leave him so he could get on with his work.

Once again the horse pleaded with the man. He said, "If you help me, I will help you capture the buffalo. Then you can keep her, and I get to have the meadow all to myself."

The man laughed and said, "What will I do with a captured buffalo; it is of no use to me."
The horse then told the man about the buffalo's sweet milk. "It not only tastes very good, it is also very healthy. If you were to drink it every day you will become more powerful than all the animals in the jungle." The man seemed impressed and agreed to help the horse. But the buffalo's horns still worried him.

But the horse had a plan. "What you need," he said, "is a big fat stick. Just climb onto my back and every time I run past the buffalo, you hit her with the stick. She cannot run as fast as me so she will not be able to catch us." The plan sounded good so the man decided to go along with it.

Next morning the man climbed onto the horse's back, holding a big fat stick. When they found the buffalo in the meadow, the horse started to run past the buffalo. The plan was working. After a few hard hits with the stick, the buffalo fell to the ground. The man captured the buffalo and tied her to a tree next to his hut.

The horse was really happy now that he had got rid of the buffalo from the meadow. He thanked the man and was about to leave when he found that he too was tied to the tree. The horse turned to the man and said, "Dear friend, now that our work is over, you can release me. I can enjoy the meadow and you can enjoy the buffalo's milk.

The man in turn said, "My dear friend, you have been of such help to me. You have not just taught me how to capture a buffalo but also taught me how to ride horses. Now that I know how useful the two of you are, how can I possibly let either of you go? I promise I will take good care of you."

The sad horse felt betrayed. But after thinking for some time he realised that he was suffering because he had been petty and vengeful. By telling the secret of the buffalo's milk to the man, he had betrayed his friend the buffalo. From that day on, he decided he would never again betray anybody's trust, not even his captor's, the man. Perhaps that is why horses (and dogs) are known as man's trusted friends.

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[Desi Masala] SMS

2009-07-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

I may never have the opportunity to do great things for you.But Iwill always find a chance to do,small things for you in a GREAT way BY PRAYING.

When I sms you I can not see you. But I know when you read my sms. A sweet smile will come on your face.Then I pray to GOD to bless your smile forever.

Each drop of a Tear is Costly than anything in World.But No One knows its value until they have it in their own eyes For Someone.

The opposite of LOVE is not HATE but to AVOID.Shakespeare says If u dont love me then hate me but plz dont avoid me.........Have A Nice Time.*****

Good friends are like stars.....You don't always see them, But you know they are always there. RAJKAMAL GUPTA

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[Desi Masala] bania jokesss...

2009-07-24T22:53:00.000-07:00

Train mein ik mosquito Chinese ke sir pe aa baitha. Vo us ko pakar ke kha gaya.

Fir ik matchar Bania pe baitha. Us ne pakar ke Chinese ko poocha "khareedoge kya !!!"

* * *

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain. 10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?

Bania's son: Kutch bhi nahi.

Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.

Banis's son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

* * *

Bania's son: Daddy meri dur ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banva do.

Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Voh dekh kya hai?

Son: Suraj

Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.

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[Desi Masala] Read Once a Week

2009-07-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

Ashok
Bhilai
+919907180427

This is something we should all read at least once a week.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer
rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take
the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years,
will this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,
we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who
will, forward this with the title '7%'. I'm in the 7%. Remember that I
will always share my spoon with you!

________________________________
Looking for local information? Find it on Yahoo! Local

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[Desi Masala] Knowledge

2009-07-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

Knowledge is like ur underwear...
U should have it, but not show it off..
And most importantly,
While having sex, keep ur knowledge aside!

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[Desi Masala] Friendship week....................................................

2009-07-23T22:27:00.000-07:00

Dear All,

Give thousand chances to your enemy to become your friend, But don't give a single chance to your friend to become your enemy '
It ' s 'World Best Friends Week ' send this to all your good friends. Even me, if I am one of them. See how many u get back.
If u get more than 3 you ' re really, a lovable person...... .......I am waiting

It ' s National Friendship Week.

Show your friends how much you care..

Send this to everyone you ever considered a FRIEND!

Even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you.

If it comes back to you, then you will know you have a circle of friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!!

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED.

THANX FOR EVERYTHING YOU EVER DID FOR ME, WISHED FOR ME…. EVEN THOUGHT FOR ME….

F - Few
R - Relations
I - In
E - Earth
N - Never
D - Die

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] WHAT IS YOUR IQ?

2009-07-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS YOUR IQ?

Harness your potential carefully and in the right way and you will discover how intelligent you really are!

*Fear is what prevents the flowering of the mind.

*A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

*A great oak is only little nut that held its ground.

*A mind is a fire to be kindled, not a vessel to be filled.

*A sign of intelligence is an awareness of one's own ignorance.

*An intellectual is a person whose mind watches it self.

*Brains are an asset, if you hide them.

*As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more mysterious.

*Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.

Love Cricket? Check out live scores, photos, video highlights and more. Click here http://cricket.yahoo.com

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[Desi Masala] Navkar Maha Mantra sung by Lata Mangeshkar and word by word meaning.

2009-07-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

Please go to the following web link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wqav5eBlf50

Navkar Maha Mantra sung by Lata Mangeshkar and word by word meaning.

Pause the video to stop so that you have more time to read.

--
There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: young, old and
middle aged.

Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest. ...but about who came
and never left your side.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

"GOD has time to listen. Do you have time to pray?"

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[Desi Masala] Coolinery

2009-07-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to your father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.

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[Desi Masala] Truth about Stanford University

2009-07-22T17:20:00.000-07:00

I read a story about how the founders of Stanford Unviersity were rebuffed by the Harward director and how they went on to start Stanford. Story sounded interesting, however I decided to find how authentic it was .. and NOT to my surprise, the story is the figment of imagination of someone on the Internet.

The real story is (it can be found on the wikipedia. Just google Standford University)

Stanford was founded by railroad magnate and California Governor Leland Stanford and his wife, Jane Stanford. It is named in honor of their only child, Leland Stanford, Jr., who died of typhoid just before his 16th birthday. They decided to dedicate a university to their only son, and Leland Stanford told his wife, "The children of California shall be our children."

There exists a popular story that a lady in "faded gingham" and a gentleman in a "homespun threadbare suit" went to visit the provost of Harvard about making a donation, were rebuffed, and then founded Stanford. [7] The historical account is that the Senator and Mrs. Stanford visited Harvard's President Eliot and asked how much it would cost to duplicate Harvard in Palo Alto. Eliot replied that he supposed $15 million would be enough. However, the Stanfords were gracefully rebuffed in securing A.D. White the president of Cornell University as Stanford's founding president. [8] Instead, White recommended David Starr Jordan, White's former student. They eventually settled on David Starr Jordan, president of Indiana University, although they had offered leaders of the Ivy League twice his salary to direct Stanford.[9]

_________________________________________________________________
Windows Live™ Hotmail®: Celebrate the moment with your favorite sports pics. Check it out.
http://www.windowslive.com/Online/Hotmail/Campaign/QuickAdd?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_QA_HM_sports_photos_072009&cat=sports

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[Desi Masala] Fw: when you undress?

2009-07-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

Your personality , when you undress?

Amazing but true.... How you get undressed reveals your personality .........!!

1) If you throw your clothes all over the place, you are a friendly, life-of-the-party type. You are free with your thoughts and opinions, not caring much about what others think of you. Your parents might think your room looks like a cyclone hit it? But it actually represents your happy, individualistic nature!

2) If you remove each piece of clothing and put it away carefully, you are a serious person who likes his/her life to be very calm. You are comfortable with routine, and you believe that the best way to deal with life's problems is to prevent them in the first place. You are a perfectionist. By nature you are quite shy. You are observant and you know more about some people than they think, just because you've watched them. You are dependable and sometimes intense. You think carefully before making decisions. You go about your tasks methodically, with concentration. You know how to pay attention.

3) If you take off the shirt, and ten minutes later get around to the pants, you are an extremely self-confident person. You are naturally bright and intellectual. You are also a deep thinker who loves to ask questions and ponder the meaning of things. You hate being rushed and you do not like to be hassled. Usually you like a lot of free time for yourself.

4) If you get out of your clothes as quickly as possible, you are concerned about others and what they expect from you, but you're worried about your own needs. You are family-oriented, and stay extremely busy. You often feel stressed, but most of those heavy expectations come from your own head! Give yourself a break; you don't have to be perfect.

5) If you take off your rings, earrings, necklace, watch before anything else, you are a warm and sensitive person. You are considerate and thoughtful, and you give good advice to your friends. You are a natural born romantic..

6) If you don't have an undressing routine and you never do it the same way twice, you are a very curious and interesting person. You enjoy a broad range of activities. You take risks and enjoy fun and adventure. You are very social.

--
" You can't always be a winner. Sometimes you have to lose to become something great."

Himang Pandit

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[Desi Masala] Kanjibhai on Parenting

2009-07-22T02:10:00.000-07:00

Kanjibhai says - Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

Kanjibhai says - - It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.

Kanjibhai says - - It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.

Kanjibhai says - - Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Kanjibhai says - - Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

Kanjibhai says - - One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too many.

Kanjibhai says - - You can learn many things from children... like how much patience you have.

Kanjibhai says - - Vacations is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

Kanjibhai says - - There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it.

Kanjibhai says - - There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop
wood to keep the television set going.

Kanjibhai says - - Those who say they "sleep like a baby" haven't got one.

Kanjibhai says - - The best thing to spend on your children is time.

Best Regards
Hiten A. Raja

Nairobi, Kenya.
hiten@hitenraja.com

You will find, as you look back upon your life,
that the moments that stand out are the moments
when you have done things for others.

Worrying is like being in a rocking chair,
It gives you something to do but does not get you anywhere.

When I pray, God either changes the circumstances or me.

The fragrance remains in the hand that gave the rose.

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[Desi Masala] Tax Structure in India,, Funny but True..

2009-07-22T01:01:00.000-07:00

Tax Structure in India.... Funny But True...

Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!!

Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX

Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax

Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Service / (s)?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !

Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!

Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans :: Wait we are about to launch the funeral tax !!!

win an ipod for more info click here
Regards
Himanshu
9910049285
DOWNLOAD KAMINE MOVIE SONGS VISIT MY WEBSITE....
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[Desi Masala] A Good Joke: Does Management know their Staff ? Must Read and Forward to all your freinds

2009-07-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the company
noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him,
"How much do you earn?"

The young man was quite amazed
that he was asked such a personal question,
he replied, none the less, "I earn $ 2000.00 a month,
Sir. Why?"

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet
and removed $6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said,
"Around here I pay people for working,
not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don't come back".

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,
"And that applies to everybody in this company".

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, "Who's the young man
I just fired?"

To which an amazing reply came - "He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!"

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[Desi Masala] Drop 3 kilos in a week

2009-07-21T08:42:00.000-07:00

Drop 3 kilos in a
week

1. Drink mainly water
2. Ban white bread and pasta
3. Do cardio 30 minutes a day
4. Drink coffee an hour before working out
5. Have nightly you – on top sex
6. Do 36 push ups and lunges every other day
7. Sleep 30 minutes more a night 8. Make one food sacrifice.
trust it will help the needy
bye
deepak

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[Desi Masala] Mouse from Kenya

2009-07-20T23:33:00.000-07:00

One day a mouse was walking on the banks of a river that ran through
the jungle in Kenya.

He saw a Hippopotamus in the water and shouted to the Hippopotamus, "Hey you, come out of the water onto this bank, NOW".
The Hippopotamus lumbered onto the bank as requested. The mouse then
said, "OK, you can get back in the water now".

The mouse continued walking along the bank until he came upon a lion having a little dip in the river. The mouse
shouted across to the lion, "Hey you, up here, on this bank now!".
The lion was a little concerned about this 'jumped up' mouse giving him orders but he complied and climbed up onto the bank. The mouse then said, "OK, you can get back into the water now". The lion shrugged and returned to the river.

The mouse continued his trip along the banks of the river until he came across an elephant having a good old soak.
The mouse shouted to the elephant. "Hey you, Mr. Elephant, up here on this bank now!". The elephant lumbered out the water and was then told by the mouse to return to the water.

The elephant however was a little bit annoyed about having his soak disturbed so he said to the mouse, "What is going
on? I've just seen you call the Hippopotamus, the lion and now me out of the water, why are you doing this ?".

The mouse replied, "when I find out who stole my swimming trunks, I will kill him!".

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

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[Desi Masala] Funny creature

2009-07-20T11:54:00.000-07:00

*A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother,
I've had a hard day. Dianne has been quite difficult ... Yes, I know I ought
to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes, I remember
you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would
make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her. You were
perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right."

He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:
"Dianne, your mother wants to talk to you!"*

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[Desi Masala] Bill - Tit for Tat...

2009-07-20T01:41:00.000-07:00

Bill - Tit for Tat...

While the Gates' are moving in from their temporary quarters nearby,
final construction of their new house is not expected to be completed
until the end of the year. Now if I were the contractor with a sense of
humor...

Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for
the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"

Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a
little smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the
release date."

Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger
living room: or you can use a Stacker."

Bill: "Stacker?"

Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the
room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the
couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so
when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and
then put it back when you're done."

Bill: "Uh... I Dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light
fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The
threads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! Thats easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll
have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular.
How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: " Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests
over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water
pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is
failing to terminate and is hogging the resource preventing access from
other fixtures."

Bill: "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and
then you can get back to work."

Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling
me?"

Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it."

Bill: "And when will it be fixed?"

Contractor: "Oh, in your next house - which will be ready to release
sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year,
but we've had some delays..."

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[Desi Masala] A GREAT RACKSHAW DRIVER OF MUMBAI - WORTH READING

2009-07-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

WORTH READING.

Suvendu Roy of Titan Industries shares his inspirational encounter with a rickshaw driver in Mumbai:

Last Sunday, my wife, kid and I had to travel to Andheri from Bandra.
When I waved at a passing auto rickshaw, little did I expect that this ride would be any different.
As we set off, my eyes fell on a few magazines (kept in an aircraft style pouch) behind the driver's back rest. I looked in front and there was a small TV. The driver had put on the Doordarshan channel.
My wife and I looked at each other with disbelief and amusement. In front of me was a small first-aid box with cotton, dettol and some medicines. This was enough for me to realise that I was in a special vehicle. Then I looked round again, and discovered more - there was a radio, fire extinguisher, wall clock, calendar and pictures and symbols of all faiths - from Islam and Christianity to Buddhism, Hinduism and Sikhism. There were also pictures of the heroes of 26/11- Kamte, Salaskar, Karkare and Unnikrishnan. I realised that not only my vehicle, but also my driver was special.

I started chatting with him and the initial sense of ridicule and disbelief gradually diminished. I gathered that he had been driving an auto rickshaw for the past 8-9 years; he had lost his job when his employer's plastic company was shut down. He had two school-going children, and he drove from 8 in the morning till 10 at night. No break unless he was unwell.
"Sahab, ghar mein baith ke TV dekh kar kya faida? Do paisa income karega toh future mein kaam aayega."

We realised that we had come across a man who represents Mumbai - the spirit of work, the spirit of travel and the spirit of excelling in life.

I asked him whether he does anything else as I figured that he did not have too much spare time. He said that he goes to an old age home for women in Andheri once a week or whenever he has some extra income, where he donates tooth brushes, toothpastes, soap, hair oil and other items of daily use. He pointed out to a painted message below the meter that read: "25 per cent discount on metered fare for the handicapped. Free rides for blind passengers up to Rs50".

My wife and I were struck with awe. The man was a HERO! A hero who deserves all our respect.

Our journey came to an end; 45 minutes of a lesson in humility, selflessness and of a hero-worshipping Mumbai-my temporary home. We disembarked, and all I could do was to pay him a tip that would hardly cover a free ride for a blind man.

I hope, one day, you too have a chance to meet Mr Sandeep Bachhe in his auto rickshaw - MH-02-Z-8508.

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[Desi Masala] YOU WILL LIKE IT

2009-07-19T04:12:00.000-07:00

A lady in a faded grey dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun suit walked in timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods , country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Harvard.

"We want to see the President "the man said softly.

"He'll be busy all day "the secretary snapped.

"We'll wait" the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them , hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president..

"Maybe if you see them for a few minutes , they'll leave" she said to him. The President , stern faced and with dignity , strutted toward the couple.

The lady told him "We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago , he was accidentally killed.. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him , somewhere on campus."

The president wasn't touched....He was shocked. "Madam "he said , gruffly , " we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did , this place would look like a cemetery."

"Oh , no , " the lady explained quickly "We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard."
The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit , and then exclaimed , "A building ! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard."
For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly , "Is that all it costs to start a university ? Why don't we just start our own?"

Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away , traveling to Palo Alto , California where they established the University that bears their name. Stanford University , a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

Most of the time we judge people by their outer appearance , which can be misleading.. And in this impression , we tend to treat people badly by thinking they can do nothing for us. Thus we tend to lose our potential good friends , employees or customers.

Remember
In our Life , we seldom get people with whom we want to share & grow our thought process. But because of our inner EGO we miss them forever.

It is you who have to decide with whom you are getting associated in day to day life.

I end this beautiful story with a note:

Small people talk about others ,

Average people talk about things ,

Great people talk about ideas.

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[Desi Masala] dosti

2009-07-18T01:45:00.000-07:00

dil tutana saja hai mohbbat ki
dil jodna ada hai DOSTI ki
mange jo kurbani wo hai mohbbat
jo bin mange ho jaye kurban wo hai DOSTI.

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[Desi Masala] shayar ki dastan

2009-07-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

hi friends i m rahul ......& a message 4 u....
if u like plz reply me.

Yeh duniya waale barre ajeeb hain
kabhi durr toa kabhi kareeb hain
dard na batao toa hame kayar kehte hain
aur dard batao toa hame shayar kehte hain

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] New Dating Dictionary

2009-07-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

ATTRACTION.. ... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING..... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL..... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT..... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE. .... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING. .... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY.. ... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC. .... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

Life is living without me

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[Desi Masala] Freshmen versus seniors

2009-07-17T03:43:00.000-07:00

Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon.

Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend.

Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class.

Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob."

Freshman: Would
walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away.

Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade.

Freshman: Knows a book-full of useless trivia about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually.

Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in
sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand.

Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has own personal workstation.

Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe.

Freshman: Looks forward to first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to first beer garden of the year.

Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on
Calculus I midterm
Senior: Is proud of not quite failing his Complex Analysis midterm

Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every other night
Senior: Calls Domino's every other night

Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of professors
Senior: Is appalled that the campus 'Subway' burned down over the summer

Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions
Senior: Homework? I knew I forgot to do something last night

Freshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into group house

Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational
opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society
Senior: Is excited about new dryers in laundry room

Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class
Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class

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[Desi Masala] WALK THE WAY NOT TO PAY

2009-07-17T03:34:00.000-07:00

WALK THE WAY NOT TO PAY
Dinesh Vora
Late night a drunk was kicked out from bar, got aboard an empty bus to go
home. The bus driver in a hurry took off bus fast to complete his last
round. The drunk got thrusted towards the back of the bus bumped and beaten.
He fumbled his way to the front and started searching his pocket to drop
the fare and crook driver did it again. The drunk got bounced back and forth.
The driver was having job with pleasure.
Soon the drunk's destination came and he hurried to get off the bus. The
rude bus driver yelled "Hey imbecile you have to pay your fare in the box."

The angry drunk tumbled out of the bus and yells back, "Why should I pay
you knucklehead, I walked here all the way"

**************Can love help you live longer? Find out now.
(http://personals.aol.com/articles/2009/02/18/longer-lives-through-relationships/?ncid=emlweu
slove00000001)

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[Desi Masala] Ladies Special......too gud

2009-07-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,

and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."

The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament

and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ..........."HEBREWS"

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[Desi Masala] galat sangat

2009-07-17T00:39:00.000-07:00

Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Hubby: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangat ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

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[Desi Masala] YOGA

2009-07-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

Dont" keep me in ur eyes,
i may fall as tears.Keep me in ur heart,
so that ur every "heart beat" may reminds u that there is "someone 4 u"....

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[Desi Masala] Syllables

2009-07-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

Little Johnny's teacher says "Class today we are going to learn
multi-syllable words. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny raises his hand "Me Miss Finch!"

Miss Finch turns towards the eager young lad "All right Little Johnny
what is your multi-syllable word?"

Little Johnny says "Mas-tur-bate".

Miss Finch smiles and says "Well little Johnny that sure is a mouthful!".

Little Johnny says "No Miss Finch you're thinking of a blowjob".

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[Desi Masala] Michael Jackson Dance On ' Padosan ' Track

2009-07-15T03:17:00.000-07:00

* **Michael Jackson Dance On ' Padosan ' Track*
*This is absolutely hilarious !! ***

*Watch closely. The steps and lyrics match perfectly. *
**
*This is a fantastic combination dance on *
*"Ek Chatur Nar..." song from the movie 'Padosan'. (the original song clip
is also provided separately for quick reference)*

Click on The Link below and Enjoy... **
**
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmPubiQJ8vY
**
*Original Song: **http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HwrMGpFaik&feature=channel
*

--
There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: young, old and
middle aged.

Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest. ...but about who came
and never left your side.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

"GOD has time to listen. Do you have time to pray?"

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[Desi Masala] Kanjibhai say I don't know

2009-07-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

Kanjibhai needs to buy a bull to service his cows but has to borrow the money
from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how
his investment is doing. Kanjibhai complained that the bull just eats grass and
wont even look at the cows.

The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.

The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. Kanjibhai looks very
pleased, "The bull serviced all my cows twice, broke through the fence, and
serviced all my neighbour's cows three times."

"Wow," says the banker, "What did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied Kanjibhai.

"What kind of pills?" asked the banker.

"I don't know," says Kanjibhai , "but they sort of taste like chocolate."

Effectively Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place we must find.

Experience is what we get when we do not get what we want.

Do what you can, for who you can, with what you have, and where you are.

Don't tell God how big your problem is. Tell your problem how big your God is.

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[Desi Masala] Why women are so special

2009-07-14T02:11:00.000-07:00

WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL . .

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's
getting late.. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's
lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the
freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box
levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the
table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes
into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She
picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on
the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She
watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to
dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted
out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from
hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend,
addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the
grocery store. She put both near her bag.

Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night
Solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth
and filed her nails.

Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said. She put some water into the dog's dish
and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and
the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and
turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw
some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation
with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next
day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her
6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and
visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV
and announced to no one in particular. "I'm going to bed." And he
did...without another thought.

Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer...?
'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL.......
(and they can't die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)

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[Desi Masala] GIRLS R Riddles??

2009-07-13T23:52:00.000-07:00

If you treat her nice she says"Yaar mujhe line de raha hai".

If you don't she says "Kitna akadta hai".

**********

If you dress nicely she says "Mujhay impress karna chahta hai".

If you don't she says "Tasteless hai yaar".

**********

If you argue with her she says "Ziddi hai".

If you sit quietly she says "Dumb hai".

**********

If you act smarter she'll lose her brain as you are insulting her.

If she acts smarter she think its her right.

**********

If you don't love her she says "Is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 ladkioon ke saath chakar hai".

If you love her she says " Peechay hi pad gayaa hai".

**********

If you don't give her a kiss she says "Tum mujh say serious naheen ho".

If you give her a kiss she says "Yaar who ladkaa flirt kar raha hai".

**********

If you don't tell her your problems she says "You are not honest to me".

If you do tell to her she says "You are a problem child".

**********

If you scold her she says "You act like a grandpa giving lecture".

If she scolds you she says "Yaar, its because I care".

**********

If you break a promise she says "He does not trust you any more".

If she breaks she says "Jaan main majboor thi"

**********

If you don't love her she says "Is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 ladkioon ke saath chakar hai".

If you love her she says " Peechay hi pad gayaa hai".

**********

If you don't give her a kiss she says "Tum mujh say serious naheen ho".

If you give her a kiss she says "Yaar who ladkaa flirt kar raha hai".

**********

If you smoke she says "You are a bad guy".

If she smokes she says "I need this, please jaanu try to understand".

**********

If you do good in exams she says "Kismat NE saath diya warna tum or good marks".

If she gets good marks she says "Its my brain ".

**********

If you hurt her she says "You are cruel & don't care of my feelings".

If she hurts you she replies" You are not understanding".

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Desi Masala] www.worldometers.info

2009-07-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

http://www.worldometers.info/

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Hiten Raja is a Gujarati Jain. He has taken a vow of poverty. To annoy him send him money.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Desi Masala] 3 Parrots

2009-07-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

3 Parrots

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw
three identical parrots in a cage.

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

But the other two call him"BOSS"!!

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[Desi Masala] Pani Lao...

2009-07-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

Ek din ek lady shop se parrot kharidne gyi....

Usne dukandar se kaha vasim bhai ek tota chahaiye....

Dukandar ne use ek tota dikaya...

Lady ne pucha is tote ki khas bat kya hai vasim bhi...

Dukan dar bola ye tota bolta hai

Lady ne kaha acha..

Usne tote se pucha main tumhe kaisi lagti huin

"Bahen ki laudi randi lagti hai" tote ne kaha.

Lady ne kaha vasim bhi ye to bhut badtamij tota hai gali deta hai.

Vasim bhi use ander le gya aur pani me dubaya aur pucha...

Gali dega...

Tota. Hain dunga

Vasim ..phir dubaya aur pucha .gali dega"

Tota... hain dunga....

Vasim ne phir pani me dubaya aur kaha .gali dega..

Is bar tota man gya aur kaha nhi dunga bhi nhi dunga,,,,,

Vo use bahar le gya aur lady se kaha ye ab gali nhi dega..

Tab lady ne usse pucha ...

Agr mere ghar pr mere sath ek aadmi aye to tum kya sochoge.

Tote ne kaha..ki tumhara pati hoga..

Lady..agr do aadmi aye to kya.

Tota.tumhara pati aur devar,

Lady.agr tin aadmi ..

Tota.tumhara pati ,devar,aur bhayiya.

Lady ...agr char aadmi aye to...

Tota.....

.,.

,.,

,.,.

,.,

.,.

,.,

.,vasim bhai pani lao...

Maine to pehle hi kaha tha ki

"behen ki laudi randi hai".

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[Desi Masala] CRACKED POT

2009-07-13T05:54:00.000-07:00

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots; each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck...

One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"

"That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them."

"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

And send this to any or all of your Crackpot friends within 5 minutes and see what happens! Don't forget the Crackpot that sent it to you!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Desi Masala] WHY A STUDENT FAILS ???

2009-07-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

WHY A STUDENT FAILS ???

It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year has ONLY 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student.

1. Sundays-52,Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep-means 130 days.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health) means 15 days.

Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies(chew properly & eat)-means 30days.

Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means 15 days !

Days left 81.

7. Exam days per year atleast 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days.

Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness atleast 3 days.

Remaining days 3.

10. Movies and functions atleast 2 days.

1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday. "How can you study at that day?"
Balance days 0
"How can a student PASS???

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[Desi Masala] Inside story on attack on Mumbai -- must watch (By Channel TV)

2009-07-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

Please watch and forward. Channel TV's documentary "Terror in Mumbai" -- the untold story

http://vimeo.com/5409826

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] Flying in the Mountains......keep sound ON and enjoy.

2009-07-12T06:49:00.000-07:00

Move your cursor over the screen,
and you will have the impression, you are flying over the mountains.

Aim the cursor arrow at a mountain top.

Also, try moving it left to
right.

       Music from J.M. Jarre.

     http://electricoyster.com/esp3d/

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] Marvelous Answer....

2009-07-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

Real story happened with famous Heart Surgeon Lt. Dr. Nitu Mandke. He had
done many heart operations.
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he
spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the
side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor! Please come over here
for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked
argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves
out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new
one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically
the same work?"
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic...

"TRY TO DO IT WHEN THE ENGINE IS RUNNING".

Regards,

PANKAJ PANCHAL

_____

Maritime Industrial Services Arabia Co. Ltd. (MIS-Arabia)
Street # 112, P.O. Box 11187, Jubail Industrial City - 31961, Kingdom of
Saudi Arabia

Mobile: +966-5-041-68427, Tel: +966-3-341-6376 (Ext :- 127), Fax:
+966-3-341-2784

Email: <http://www.misarabia.com.sa/> pankaj@misarabia.com.sa Website:
<http://www.misarabia.com.sa/> www.misarabia.com.sa

_____

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[Desi Masala] the lone ranger

2009-07-11T04:59:00.000-07:00

*The** **Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured** by an enemy Indian War
Party. **The Indian Chief proclaims,So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger...*

*"In honor of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days. Before
I kill you, I grant you three requests. What is your FIRST request?

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."*
*The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his
back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and
spends the night.*

*The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.
"You have a very fine and loyal horse. But I will still kill you in two
days. What is your SECOND request?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.
Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon.
Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time
with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive
than the blonde.

She enters the Lone Rangers tent and spends the night.
The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.
"You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow."
"What is your LAST request ?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the
Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
looks him square in the eye and says,

Listen Very Carefully !!!!
FOR... THE... LAST... TIME...

I SAID "BRING POSSE!"*

--
There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: young, old and
middle aged.

Friendship isn't about who you have known the longest. ...but about who came
and never left your side.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.

"GOD has time to listen. Do you have time to pray?"

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[Desi Masala] some more shayari's

2009-07-11T02:03:00.000-07:00

Rishton ki ye duniya hai nirali, Sab rishton se pyari hai dosti tumhari,

Manzur hai aansu bhi aakhon me hamari, Agar aa jaye muskan hotho pe tumhari

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Is kadar humari chahat ka imtihaan mat lijiye, Kyu ho khafa ye bayan to kijiye,

Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gayi koi khata, Yu yaad na kar ke saza to na dijiye

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dil hi dil me hum unse pyaar karte he, Chup-chap unki mahobbat ka intezaar karte hai,

Jin raho par unka chalna mushkil hai, Unhi raho pe hum unka intezaar karte hai

i dont luv u it doesnt mean that i hate u......!

Animated Letters

Looking for local information? Find it on Yahoo! Local http://in.local.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] Surprise....click it---- drag it-------- do any thing

2009-07-11T01:49:00.000-07:00

SURPRISE FOR YOU

Click on the below link. You will get a black page. Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens! Better yet, click & drag your mouse over the black page.

I Hope you all will like it.

http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf

If you like it then send it Back to me....I am waiting..........

Love Cricket? Check out live scores, photos, video highlights and more. Click here http://cricket.yahoo.com

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[Desi Masala] Elvis and Michael

2009-07-11T01:28:00.000-07:00

If you hear a rumble in the skys tonight...don't worry...there is no storm
brewing....It's Elvis beating the crap out of Michael for messing with his
daughter.

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[Desi Masala] HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN

2009-07-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

HOW TO PLEASE A WOMAN

A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses.

The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks, :Can your dog perform other tricks?".

"But of course", the man answers, "he can even satisfy a woman." Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the dog into a little room above the bar. She undresses and full of expectation she lies down on the bed.

The dogs looks at her and does nothing.

"It's always the same thing with you!", the man then shouts to the dog, 'I'll show you how to do it one last time'.

Yahoo! recommends that you upgrade to the new and safer Internet Explorer 8. http://downloads.yahoo.com/in/internetexplorer/

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[Desi Masala] Annal Deodorant !

2009-07-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

Annal Deodorant !

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some rectal deodorant.

The pharmacist explains to the man they don't sell rectal deodorant and that in fact he's never heard of it before.

The man assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store for years and needs some more.

"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the man.

"Do you have the container it comes in?" asks the pharmacist.

"Yes!" said the man, "I'll go home and get it."

He returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says to him, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

Annoyed, the man snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

See the Web's breaking stories, chosen by people like you. Check out Yahoo! Buzz. http://in.buzz.yahoo.com/

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[Desi Masala] Zindagi ke daur me hawaao se taalluk rakhna,

2009-07-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

Zindagi ke daur me hawaao se taalluk rakhna,
Dosti ke dauraan me dosto ko yaad rakhna,
Hamaari dosti ki khushboo aati rahegi,
Tum bas apana 'mobile' khula rakhna.
************ ********* ********* **
Chand ko akele me sharam aati hogi,
Baat kuch tumhaare bhi samajh me aati hogi,
Jab bhi jikar hota hai smart doston ka,
Tumhe meri yaad bahut aati hogi.
************ ********* ********* **
Dosti ki galiyo me koi gam na ho,
Hamaara ye pyaar kabhi kam na ho,
Bas yahi hai dua tum khush raho,
Kyaa pata ye SMS bhejne vala 'kal ho na ho'.
************ ********* ********* **
Hamaare har raaz ka jo hamraaz hai,
Jo saaya bankar har pal hamaare saath hai,
Hamaari har khushi ka jo hakdaar hai,
Tu hi to vo hamaara dost laajwaab hai.
************ ********* ********* **
Har dua kabool nahi hoti,
Har aarzoo poori nahi hoti,
Jinke dil me aap jaisa dost rahta ho,
Unake liye dhadkane bhi jaroori nahi hoti.

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[Desi Masala] Would Kanjibhai be sorry ?

2009-07-09T19:04:00.000-07:00

Rupaben: If I left you for some man, would you be sorry?

Kanjibhai: Why would I be sorry for a man I don't even know.

Kind Regards from
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

Education is what you get from reading the small print,
Experience is what you get from not reading it.

Things turn out best for those that make the best of the way things turn out.

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections.

Progress has little to do with speed, but much to do with direction.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

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[Desi Masala] Kanjibhai on need

2009-07-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

The love of money is the root of all evil, and man NEEDS roots !

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

Foreign Aid: The transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

Hiten Raja is a Gujarati Jain. He has taken a vow of poverty. To annoy him send him money.

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[Desi Masala] What did Buddha emphasize here?

2009-07-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town
with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days. While they
were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and
Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water
from that lake there."

The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached
it, he noticed that right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing
through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid.
The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha
to drink!"

So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there
is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink." After about half an
hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him
some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake.

This time too he found that the lake was muddy. He
returned and informed Buddha about the same. After sometime, again Buddha asked
the same disciple to go back.

The disciple reached the lake to find the lake
absolutely clean and clear with pure water in it. The mud had settled down
and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in
a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha
looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said," See
what you did to make the water clean. You let it be…. and the mud settled
down on its own – and you got clear water.

Your mind is also like that! When it is
disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its
own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen.
It is effortless."

What did Buddha emphasize here? He said, "It is
effortless." Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an
effortless process!

In life everything goes on................Keep Going.

Have a peaceful Life!

KEEP SMILING...........................not because of something, but inspite of everything.

Love Cricket? Check out live scores, photos, video highlights and more. Click here http://cricket.yahoo.com

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[Desi Masala] Today's Jokes

2009-07-09T04:21:00.000-07:00

*
*
*

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow

me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then
he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the
ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss
would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, "What are
you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a
couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you
think you're going?"

(You're gonna love this.....)

...

She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."

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[Desi Masala] Love V/s Marriage

2009-07-09T04:15:00.000-07:00

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

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[Desi Masala] Love Lust & Marriage

2009-07-09T03:08:00.000-07:00

Love Lust & Marriage

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room.
LUST- when your tongues meet across a crowded room.
MARRIAGE - When you try to lose your spouse in a crowded room.

LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love."
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing."
MARRIAGE - When intercourse is a town in Pennsylvania. There really is one.

LOVE - When you argue over how many children to have.
LUST - When you argue over who gets the wet spot?
MARRIAGE - When you argue over whose idea it was to have kids.

LOVE - When you share everything you own.
LUST - When you steal everything they own.
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything.

LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax.
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax.
MARRIAGE - When . . . Uh . . . what's a climax?

LOVE - When you phone each other just to say, "Hi."
LUST - When you phone each other to pick a hotel room.
MARRIAGE - When you phone each other to ***** about work.

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner.
LUST - When all you write is your phone number.
MARRIAGE - When all you write is checks.

LOVE - When your only concern is for your partner's feelings.
LUST - When your only concern is to find a room with mirrors all-round.
MARRIAGE - When you're only concern is what's on T.V.

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner.
LUST - When you only see each other naked.
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake.

LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them.
LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them.
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them.

LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it.
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio.

LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about.
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about.
MARRIAGE - When just getting through the day is your only thought.

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.

LOVE - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and talk.
LUST - When a rainy day means more time to stay inside and have sex.
MARRIAGE - When a rainy day means it's time to clean the basement.

LOVE - You only leave the house to buy coffee and doughnuts.
LUST - You only leave the house to buy condoms and Vaseline.
MARRIAGE - You only leave the house when you're allowed.

__,_._

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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[Desi Masala] Windows Vs Virus

2009-07-09T00:40:00.000-07:00

Is Windows a Virus
No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.

5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

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