[Desi Masala] SANTA BANTA
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to mere liye, nahi to tumhare liye.
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
Doc: Haan, bilkul.
Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi...
Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I'm falling in love.
Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated...
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado Santa aage nahin bada
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
Santa apni khoobsurat Bibi k saath car mein baitha. Driver ne sheesha set kiya.
Santa gusse mein bola, meri bibi ko dekhkta hai, piche baith, car mein chalaoonga!
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A:
Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
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