[Desi Masala] Marriage defined

MARRIAGE,
[1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of history;
[2] a word that should be pronounced as "mirage";
[3] an event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left;
[4] a very good way to promote civilisation -- if you get a good
wife you will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a
philosopher {Socrates}
[5] a process much like a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the
choices, select what looks the best -- and pay later;
[6] an event which is called "tying the knot" -- unfortunately, the
knot can be a noose;
[7] a word which always means commitment -- but so does insanity;
[8] a ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat
their cold winters and lack of central heating;
[9] something that changes the demeanour of a driver -- there is no
longer any effort needed to keep both hands on the wheel;
[10] the only permanent cure for love;
[11] is only compatible when the man makes a living and his wife
makes living worthwhile;
[12] the only adventure open to the cowardly;
[13] something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes
the appetiser is better than the main course;
[14] a group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two
slaves, making in all, two;
[15] the alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays,
and the other who never forgets them;
[16] the process that turns a female from an attraction into a
distraction;
[17] a legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of
his wife;
[18] that ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics;
[19] a rite where two people, under the influence most violent, most
insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required
to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and
exhausting condition until death do them part;
[20] occurs where a man gets hooked by his own line;
[21] in America, is the only legal method of suppressing freedom of
speech;
[22] is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste;
[23] is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer;
[24] the process of finding out the kind of guy your wife would have
preferred;
[25] a condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no
husband expected what he was getting;
[26] the ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner
or later, he will find he can't blame on the government;
[27] a tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay
the minister the same fee they will eventually have to pay the
divorce lawyer;
[28] is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be
separated, often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing
anyone who tries to come between them;
[29] the continuous process of getting used to things you never
expected;
[30] a status which depends upon two to be successful but only one
to turn into a failure;
[31] is a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and
the rest of the book is prose;
[32] a bargain, and a sensible person understands that someone must
get the better of any bargain;
[33] in Japanese is called "Judo" -- the art of conquering by
yielding. This is the western equivalent of "Yes, dear";
[34] a confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding
of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings;
[35] is not a word, but a sentence;
[36] a delightful form of combat where you get to sleep with the
enemy;
[37] an investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up
the interest.

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