[Desi Masala] Night Out Permission Slip - This is Brilliant!!

APPLICATION TO GO OUT AND RETURN LATE

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

 

Name
of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

I
request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in
my life for the following period:

Time
of return

Date:
Time of departure: NOT to exceed:

Should
permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated
below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with
other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly
permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor
shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a
taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I
understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my
girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following
week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount
of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total

Locations
to be visited

Females
with whom conversation

is
permitted

IMPORTANT
– STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I
promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or
exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate
termination of the relationship.

I
acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our
relationship, and I agree it's not me. I promise to abide by your rules &
regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates
& flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever
you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree,
should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick
a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the
said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than
in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my
vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I
declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER
half), the above information is correct.

Signed
- Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

Request
is: APPROVED DENIED

This
decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at
all times.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission
for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date:
Time of departure: Time of return:

Signed –
Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Name
of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:

I'm
going out.

Signed: (me)
_____________________________

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

------------------------------------

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