[Desi Masala] War Outsourcing - A New Opportunity

RECRUITMENT AD

With the wonderful discovery that a dozen young boys could do to India, what hundreds of thousands of Pak soldiers could not over the last 60 years, the Pak Govt has decided to kill two birds with one stone. Given the precarious economic situation that the country is in at the moment, they have decided to disband their Military completely and 'outsource' the War against India to the LeT. This would help them save millions of dollars that their Military currently guzzles and yet be more effective against their neighbour.
Consequently the LeT have acquired an independent low cost BPO called the "D Company" appropriately rechristened as D'SHIT (D's Sasta House of Instant Terror)" whose employees will get redeployed for this project. In addition they are seeking fresh recruits. Interested candidates should apply with the following simple qualifications.

Should be aged between 18 and 25.
Should be able to row a boat.
Should be able to confidently walk into any high end hotel or restaurant and converse with anybody and everybody as University students.
Should have a liking for dry fruits.
Should have played games like Treasure Hunt, Hide and Seek etc as a kid.
Should be able to get into a murderous mood at the very sight of another human being , infact any living being.
Should have a good throwing arm. ( Previous cricketing experience would come in handy while hurling grenades).


The job involves frequent site visits, exposure to the latest gizmos like Satellite phones, guaranteed prime time television coverage with a possible opportunity to address the neighbouring nation and a definite role as supporting actor in a forthcoming film on the same subject. (The hero's post has already been filled)

Examinations will be held at various centres all over the world. The Examination date at the Mumbai Centre is inordinately delayed due to an unsettled dispute with a local party leader regarding adequate representation for the local language speaking population. Since the concerned leader has not been available for discussions or comments for the past one week, the date will be informed later.

K
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