[Desi Masala] Economic Stimulus Payment

This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A
format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition
TV* *set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by
spending your stimulus check wisely:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China .
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go to India .
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras,
and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go to Japan .
If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan .

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America . You can keep the money
in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend
it on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those
are the only businesses still in the US .

--
Always make your absence felt in such a way that somebody misses you, but
don't let your absence be so long that somebody starts learning to live
without you.

Life is a one way journey, not a destination. Travel it with a smile and
never regret anything.

Treat the earth well.....it was not given to you by your parents, it was
loaned to you by your children. We do not inherit the earth from our
ANCESTORS, we borrow it from our children.

Ability is what you're capable of. Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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