[Desi Masala] Santa banta - short jokes

Lady golfer storms angrily into club house.
Golf PRO: What's wrong?
Lady: Got stung by a bee.
PRO: Where?
Lady: Between the 1st and 2nd hole!

Boss during Interview for Post of Secretary asked: What's the Difference
between a Paperclip & a Screw?
Lady: I don't know, I've never been Paperclipped !

Jewellery shop mein Santa ki zabardast pitaayi ho gai. Y ? Sanata ne
sales-girl se kaha: Aapki ek ek item gazab ki hai. Sone ka kya rate lengi.

Why did the Grammer teacher slap Santa's Son?
B'coz he asked: Why is BRA Singular, when it covers 2 items n PANTIES Plural
when it Covers one item?

Santa: Darling rape ka matlab kya hai?
Jeeto: Sahi jagah par galat aadmi!

Santa on long tour asks Banta 2 inform if anything unusual haoens at
home.
Banta SMSs after a month: Man who comes 2 Screw Ur Wife daily, didnt come
today.

Banta ne Suhag raat ko biwi se pucha: Kya tum VIRGIN ho?
Biwi: Ji, magar PEECHE se! Aur Tum?
Banta: Main bhi, magar aage se.

Santa: Madam this panty & this bra will look nice on U.
Lady: How can U be so sure?
Santa: I'have done diploma in interior designing.

Santa "Ek condom dena, girlfrend ko gift dena hai"
Dukaandar : Is par giftcover chada du?
Santa: Arre nahi yehi to cover hai. Gift to mere paas hai.

Banta: It is shame but let me confess I have become HOMOSEXUAL.
Wife: How come?
Banta: I have Sex at HOME only!
Wife: Thank god I am not.

Santa divorced his wife on 1st night. Banta asked him the reason, Santa
said, "Yaar ohdi panty te sticker laga si: OK/Tested. Mohan Lal & Sons

Pappu: What is the meaning of Pyar Ishq Aur Mohabbat.
Santa: Kuch nahi beta sab free vich sex karan de bahane ne...

Banta to a girl: Wat's ur name?
Girl: Carmen.
Banta: Yeh kaisa naam hai?
Girl: Becoz I like Cars and men. What's ur name?
Banta: CHUTINDER SINGH BOOBIYA

Banta wanted Twins. So what did he do?
He Made two Holes in the Condom.

Jeeto: What'll u do if u have only 5 mins before an Atomic blast occurs?
Santa: I'll have SEX with u.
Jeeto: OK, but what about the next for minutes?

Bus Conductor: Pichhe sab ne ticketan lai layian.
Santa: Nahi ji, haje tak ta hath ch hi ne....

Santa's father gave him a gun on wedding night & said: Fire in air if ur
wife is virgin, shoot her if not.
Santa fired in air 1st night & shot her 2nd night.

Teacher: Aisi konsi cheez hai jo bahut vajan uttha sakti hai lekin jiska
khud ka vajan bahut thoda hai?
Pappu: Madam ji, aapki Bra.

Santa comes bleeding. Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had.
Banta: What?
Santa: His wife's boobs!

Santa on a blind date with a gori.
Santa: Do u object 2 fucking?
Gori: That's something I'v never done.
Santa: What! U r a Virgin?
Gori: No, Never Objected!

On 1st night Santa uses all his power to push it in. Fails but proudly says:
Too tight! But I'm happy I'm the 1st.
Bride: No ji. Others removed the panty 1st.

Master to Banta: Hath vich kinian Ungla hundian ne?
Banta: Ji 6
Master: Oye Murkha, tenu kini vari keha k Kachche ch hath pa k Unglan na
ginya kar

Santa was watching a Blue Film. He saw his wife in the film. After the
film ended he said: Thank God it was just a movie & not real.

Santa to Banta after interview: Everything went fine till the time he
asked me for my testimonials. I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

Obscene phone caller: Hello baby, if u can guess what's in my hand I'll
let u have it.
Preeto: Listen ji, if u can hold it in one hand I'm not interested.

Banta Complaining: U r so unresponsive, do u use cold cream between ur
legs?
Preeto Taunting: U must be using vanishing cream between urs.

Santa after interview: Everything went fine till the time he asked me for
my testimonials. I guess I showed him the wrong thing!

Santa: What is the similarity between a Bank & a Bra ?
Banta: Dono ke ander Jitna MAAL Jyaada Utna Interest Jyaada.

Santa was teaching Preeto swimming.
After 2 hrs Preeto said: Tell me, will I really drown like a leaking boat if
u take out ur finger?

Jeeto: Doc saab, mujhe thode din bachcha nahinn chahiye.
Doc: Take this condoms.
Jeeto: Ye paani ke saath loon ya doodh ke saath.
Doc: Kele ke saath.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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