[Desi Masala] Making Valentine's Day (or any Day) Special....

Valentine's day can bring up a myriad of emotions which can
either bring couples closer for a short period of time or create
feelings of loneliness and separation for other couples or singles.

So how can you deal with a holiday like this and actually enjoy
yourself, whether you are in a "relationship" or not?

Here are 12 suggestions to make your relationships better--
no matter what day it is from out "Red Hot Love Relationships"
book...

1) Don't Forget Kindness and Thoughtfulness

We all get in a rush sometimes and forget to be kind. We just want
to get the things done that we have to get done and move along to
the next thing to be done. Whether you are currently in an intimate
relationship or not--take a moment to be kind to the people in your
life. Kindness certainly doesn't have to mean "doing" for someone
(but it can.) It can mean just giving a smile, sending a kind, loving
thought, or simply listening to a story that you may have heard
many times before.

2) Don't Forget Appreciation

So often we find ourselves dwelling on what irritates us about the
people in our lives and we forget to appreciate the things about
our relationships that are working. Appreciation only works when
you want nothing in return. If there are "strings" along with your
appreciation of another person, (like you want appreciation in
return) it will seem like an empty, needy gesture. Appreciation
has to be expressed from your heart and in such a way that is
genuine.

3) Listen Closely to What Your Partner Wants

Whether it's to make plans for a Valentine's day celebration or
just listening to how your partner's day went--leave your ego
and your desire to help or "fix it" for him or her at the door and
just listen. We all get into habits that stifle communication--that
shut off a true connection of the heart. To open up and bring
more joy and ease into your relationship, take a moment to
realize what you do to assume, to fix or to judge (even though
you may not think you are doing those things) and just listen
to understand your partner.

4) Listen Closely to What You Want

Listening closely to what you want can be even harder than
learning to listen to your partner. So many people have learned
along the way that it's not safe to feel emotions--and they
simply don't know how to listen to what they want. You have to
practice listening to the voice inside you so that you can be
honest and authentic with the people in your life. You have
to learn who you are and honor that by letting others know
who the real "you" is.

5) If It's an Intimate Relationship, Don't Forget Time Alone

In our busy lives, we often forget to recharge by spending
some time alone. Whether it's taking a walk outside by
yourself and enjoying nature or it's taking 20 minutes to
meditate or tune in and calm your thoughts--we've found
that we are much better people and treat each other more
lovingly if we take time for ourselves.

6) Don't Forget to Breathe

It may seem kind of silly to remind you to not forget to
breathe, but so many of us actually live in the land of
anxious, shallow breathing. Belly breathing can relax
you, help you to clear your mind and keep you in the
present moment. What's that got to do with creating
great relationships? When we are relaxed, we listen
better to others and we don't react quite so quickly
from old patterns. We are able to access a fresh
point of view when we breathe that can promote
more understand and closer connections.

7) Don't Forget the "Show"

What's the "show"? The show is what we do to
show the other person that he/she is special in
our lives. It can be a greeting card, a present or
creating a special night or weekend away. It
can be elaborate or it can be simple--whatever
the two of you prefer. The main thing is that you
"show" the other person how special they are to you.

8) Don't Forget Discernment

The media likes to use hype and if you buy into what
the mass media promotes as "the way Valentine's day
should be," then you might be setting yourself up for
disappointment after the big day comes and goes.
Remember, it's not about the money you spend or
where you bought that special diamond necklace or
ring. It's about the love that's underneath all of that.

9) Don't Forget to Be Present and Be Real

If you're like most people, you're usually either
mentally thinking about what you have to do or
are going to do in the future or thinking about
what happened to you in the past. The present
moments fly by without you really participating
in them. To be present and real means to be
fully focusing on what's going on right here and
right now. Great relationships are built on that
idea and whether it's Valentine's day or not, it's
a terrific practice to get into.

10) Don't Forget to Think Long-Term Love and Not
Just Short-Term "Wow"

Whether it's a dating situation or long-term committed
relationship or marriage, when you are thinking about
a celebration of your love or of your relationship, keep
in mind what would create and help foster continued
long-term love instead of going for the "wow" factor.

To know the difference, you have to be in tune with
how you and your partner like to celebrate--and
everyone's different so you have to pay attention
and listen.

11) Don't Forget that You're Never too Young or Too
Old for Love

Many people have a fixed age in their minds where
love is no longer possible. This age might be 40, 50,
60, or 80. We're here to tell you that love is possible
at any age.

The trick to finding or renewing it is to recognize
what ideas and beliefs have held you back or have
sabotaged love in the past and change those habits.

Anyone can change and at any age. It just takes a
willingness and desire to do so and to take a chance
on having something wonderful.

12) Don't Forget About Nostalgia

Anyone want to bring out those old records or tapes
of the music you used to listen to when you first fell
in love?

What a special way to celebrate your love and to renew
those feelings at the same time. You might go to a
restaurant or park that you used to go to or do some
activity together that used to make your hearts sing.

Even if you are not currently in a relationship, you
can resurrect things that used to be fun for you and
have a mini-celebration of you.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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