[Desi Masala] beer warnings

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:

1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra.

2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.

10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead.

11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.

13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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