[Desi Masala] A Few Shorties

*A Few Shorties*

* The wedding night should be like a good chicken meal -
- a little bit of breast
- a little bit of leg
..... and a lot of stuffing !!!

* Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.

* Forecast for Wedding...
Expected development of Warm front, with extreme turbulence and moisture in
lower regions. Good possibility of six inches overnight. Sun (son) is
expected later on.

* Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch installments.

* Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She'll
last for many years.

* If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.

* Hope you honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long
hard route.

* Don't go on your honeymoon for longer than 5 days, or you will get a Weak
End (Weekend).

* Take heed from those who know
Tie you nightie to your toes
Close your eyes - hold your nose
Then see how it goes...

* Don't keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the
woman next door.

* Treat him like a flower... grab him by the stalk.

* We are curious to know why you both wanted to borrow the black leather
boots and bull whip ?

* Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but
its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.

* Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an
Off-Spring next Spring.

* Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom
Mounted.

* Congratulations - rots of ruck - sideways is great.

* Confucius say man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's
sink.

* Don't buy your bed from Grace Brothers (Myers) they stand behind
everything they sell.

* Hope all your Tries are not converted.

* Remember Pearl Harbour... Have fun before the nips come.

* A honeymoon should be like a table... Four bare legs and no drawers.

* "I was engaged myself once. To a contortionist. But she broke it off."

* Go west young man, get up the Darling as far as you can.

* And the story of the man who called his son Vendetta, because he always
had it in for him...

* "The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to
prove it."

* Congratulations and best wishes on this very special day.
Love
Bill and Mary Farkin
and the whole Farkin family.

* The groom, upon his engagement, went to his father and said, "I've found a
woman just like mother!" His father replied, "So what do you want from me,
sympathy?"

* Your TV viewing on your wedding night will be...
Firstly, The Marriage Game,
Followed by, Great Temptation,
The Untouchables,
Mission Impossible,
The Time is Right,
Rawhide and Bonanza.

* They were married on the cricket field, that night they were quite wicket,
the bride said with a happy smile, I'm sure this can't be cricket.

* A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it's happened to you, so don't forget to
chalk his cue and the first game you play make sure it's at the end of the
day.

* Two passing ships making matrimonial knots while fouled in each others
stern line, recommended inter between course 69 STOP Happy voyage, bottoms
up.

* See you when tea is ready (read it out loud!)

* Congratulations on finding a socket outlet for your plug

* Advice to submariners - if torpedo overheats, load tube, go deep and
eject.

* May the Blue bird of happiness crap all over your wedding cake.

* Confucius say wife for life is better than wife for strife.

* Don't be too liberal at the country party or you'll wind up in Labour.

* She offered her honour, He honoured her offer, and all night he was on her
and off her.

* Be sure to tie your nightie to your toes, 'cos you know
where the wild goose goes.

* Sorry I can't make your wedding, I'm half full under the table.

* Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an
appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration
which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to
make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.

* From the football club - We found he was useless in any position, hope you
have more luck.

* After a moment of quite repose
It's tum to tum and toes to toes
After a moment of sheer delight
It's back to back for the rest of the night.

* Dear {bride},
Isn't it funny how history repeats itself?
{Age of bride} years ago your mum and dad were putting you to bed with a
dummy - and now it's happening all over again!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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