[Desi Masala] Vinai Thummalapally

Barack Obama promised to bring change to Washington, but did
you see whom he selected as ambassador to Belize? His old
college buddy Vinai Thummalapally!

The folks in Belize had better give me a call. For only
$9.99, I'll help them learn how to say "Ambassador
Thummalapally."

Thummalapally, in case you're wondering, has no experience
as a diplomat, but he did pass Obama's foreign service exam,
which consisted of a single question: "How much money did
you raise for me, bro?"

The correct answer for Thummalapally was "more than 100
grand -- and I also told the media that you're the best
thing to happen to America since Slim-Fast."

The Colorado business executive also donated $4,500 of his
own money for his pal's presidential campaign, while his
wife, Barbara, gave $2,800. There were no strings attached,
of course, just a note from Barbara that said: "Dear Barack,
Vinai and I believe in you so much, we're giving you all the
money we had saved for our vacation in sunny Belize. I told
Vinai that Belize can wait. Poor guy, he really had his
heart set on going. He even read the Lonely Planet Travel
Guide and bought a really nice beach umbrella."

Well, perhaps Barbara didn't send a note, but she and Vinai
were probably aware that raising money for Obama's campaign
could result in an ambassadorship.

Vinai: "We've raised only $50,000. We need to raise more. I
don't want to be sent to Cote d'Ivoire."

Barbara: "Yeah, me neither. That would be as bad as going to
Ivory Coast."

Vinai: "If we raise a little more, we could go to Belize,
Jamaica or even Namibia."

Barbara: "What's so great about Namibia?"

Vinai: "I'm not sure, but that's where Angelina Jolie goes
to give birth. Did you know that she's the UN Refugee
Agency's Goodwill Ambassador?"

Barbara: "She must not have raised much money for the
agency. I'd rather be a Macy's or Saks Fifth Avenue
Ambassador."

Obama followed the dubious practice of previous
presidents -- Republicans and Democrats alike -- in
rewarding his contributors and friends with plum
ambassadorships. A plum ambassadorship, in case you didn't
know, is an ambassadorship to a country where plums are
grown. Plum ambassadorships are considered more desirable
than mango and banana ambassadorships. (Now you know why
Thummalapally and others described their fundraising as
"very fruitful.")

John Roos, a California-based lawyer who raised more than
$500,000 for Obama's campaign, was appointed ambassador to
Japan. Poor guy -- if he had raised a little more, he could
have been off to Paris. That job went to Charles Rivkin,
president and CEO of an entertainment company. Obama
selected him as an ambassador not just because he had raised
almost as much money as a CEO earns, but also because he had
produced the children's show Yo Gabba Gabba! and, as such,
was familiar with foreign-looking creatures.

Louis Susman, a lawyer and investment banker who raised at
least $400,000 for Obama's campaign and inauguration, earned
himself an ambassadorship to Britain. Talk about a plum
post. He'll get to have lunch with Prince Charles, tea with
the Queen, and dinner with Susan Boyle. Well, one out of
three isn't bad.

So what happens to all the career diplomats, the ones who
have tons of foreign service experience, but didn't raise a
penny for the president? They get sent to countries in the
developing world that don't have the amenities of Tokyo,
Paris or London, that don't have the sunny beaches of Belize
or Jamaica. But on the bright side, people in these
countries can be quite welcoming. In a few remote islands,
for example, the people are constantly sending invitations
to the U.S. Embassy, eager to have the ambassador for
dinner.

Give Obama some credit: he may have smoked pot at one time,
but he doesn't want any of his friends to end up in one.

Yours
Hiten A. Raja
Nairobi.
KENYA.

Hiten@HitenRaja.com

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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